Saturday, March 26, 2011

The Bearing of Heart

It's rather a repetitive world, isn't it?
Well, for me at least it is.
Five days a week, go to work. Stick to the same schedule every week, with little to no variance.
On and on. Until when?
Until there is some change... which is far off, and actually out of sight at the moment. So out of sight, I wonder if there will ever be a change, or if I will be trapped in this repetitive cycle forever.
Wake up, work, come home, do whatever activity is always scheduled for that afternoon or evening, go back to sleep.
The weekends zip by like an intake of breath, while the weekdays lag on seemingly forever.
And the days... All the days simply slip through my fingers and disappear, leaving me wondering where they went. How so much time has possibly passed already, and why I haven't seemed to gain any ground at all. Why am I still in the same place, after all this time has passed? I have so many dreams yet to live, but my life seems to be sprinting by me before I have time to take a step.

How do you cope with days like this? Days where you feel as if you will always be in one place, doing the same things. Forever, and ever.
Do you simply survive them? Hoping, or in my case, knowing you will feel better the next day? And will be fine until the dreaded day comes again where you feel as if you cannot stand under the monotony of it all?
Do you lose yourself in writing, or friends, or music, or drawing, or something else? Trying to distract yourself, but knowing that the moment you're alone, the moment you don't have something else on your mind, it will come preying on you again? That strange feeling that is almost a dread. A fear that nothing will ever happen in your life. An impatience and longing so great you could cry.

This is what I do. I vent. I write my thoughts, in hopes that by releasing them, they will release me.
I call out to the Greatest Shinobi, asking Him for comfort, to hold me close and help me to forget, to help me through this time, and show me what He wants me to do, instead of moping around being depressed.

I know He has a plan for my life, and that whatever it is, it is good. I know that, but my flesh tries to keep that knowledge from me.  Especially at these weak times.

So there you have it... The bearing of my weak heart.
Obviously by this post, I do not think the telling of one's emotions makes one weak.  I think there is a certain strength in it, and respect those who can easily speak of their failings and emotions.  I confess, I have no little trouble in this area.  But since I needed to vent, my blog needed a new post, and I hoped it would encourage others that if they feel this way, they are not alone.  And that if they do feel like this, they can find comfort in Someone who is always ready to listen to His people.  

In the shadow of the Greatest Shinobi, Forever


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

In Which I Protest Video and Computer Games, and Texting

Before you begin reading this, I will give this warning:
If you absolutely love video/computer games, play them 24/7, and are easily offended by someone telling you to not spend so much time on them, you may not wish to continue reading.
So there you are.  Fair warning to my fair readers.
Video and computer games.
Really, what is the big deal? 
Studies and surveys show that teens spend twelve to twenty-three hours a week playing video or computer games, guys typically being on the higher end.  What is up with that, guys?  There are so many better things to be doing!  Now, I won't lie, I can't claim complete resistance to video and computer games.  A few days ago I sat down to a computer game, and spent a good two or three hours on it before I knew what had happened.  If they're good games, they'll get you so involved and wrapped up that you don't notice how much time has passed, which is a bit disturbing, to me at least.  Call me paranoid or a control freak, but I like to be in control of my senses and time.
So, qualm one with video and computer games:
- They are time eaters.  Time eaters that blind you to how much time they've eaten.

Next, for some reason, once you can do something on a video/computer game, you assume you can do it in real life.  Sword-fight?  Shoot firearms?  Play basketball?  Football?  Drums?  Guitar?  Drive a car?  "Oh, I do that on the computer all the time!  Of course I can just pick up a set of drumsticks and strike up a beat.  Right?"
Just because you can do something in a game, does not mean you can do it in real life.  I know someone who played a lot of car racing games when they were young, and when they learned to drive, assumed it would be easy because of that.  Was it easier for them?  No.
Qualm number two:
- They invoke false confidence and boasting.
Now, confidence is a good thing!  I think people could use more of it.  But not when it isn't grounded in something strong.

Next there is issue of desensitizing.  Do parents give their kids a firearm and let them go out and shoot people?  Do they give them a sword and let them go cut someone's head off?  No.  So why do they let them do it in video games?  Some of those fighting games get bloody.  I saw a kid who couldn't have been more than fourteen playing a shooting game.  They shot a guy, then ran up to the body and started repeatedly shooting it just to watch the extra blood spurt and gush out.
Is that disturbing to only me?
So there's the gore factor.  Next?  Language.  Some of that video/computer game language is not pretty.  And still parents let kids play it?
What are kids learning by that?  Blood is cool.  Shooting people is cool.  Running people over with a car is cool.  Cussing is cool.
Wonderful, people.  Wonderful.
Qualm number three:
- Desensitizing

So there are my three qualms with video and computer games.  I'm sure I could come up with some more, but this post is getting long enough.

Briefly though, I want to make a comment on texting.  Now first I wish to say that I think texting can be a very good thing.  There are times when it is simply more convenient to text than to call.  If you're in a loud room, or a place where you need to be quiet, and you need to talk to someone.  Texting is the perfect solution.
But it can be dangerous, and I do think it is overused.
My main problem here, is obliviousness.  On many levels.

I passed a friend in the store just yesterday.  He was texting, had complete focus on his phone, and was walking.  I crossed right in front of him, and he didn't have a clue.  For all he knew, I wasn't there.  Now what if he were in the parking lot?  Walking and texting, and I was a car?  Or a mugger?  Or a killer?  How good would that be?

Next?  People text others while they're with their friends.  There will be a group of teenagers, a few will be talking, a couple others will be hanging behind, attention glued to their phones.  No heed to their friends around them.  Why don't you pay attention with the people that are with you at that moment, cultivate that friendship, then talk to whoever it is you're talking to on your phone?

Third, and I'll leave it at this.  People texting people that are right next to themWhat is up with that?  Now, I know, some people say, "I don't want anyone around me knowing what we're saying."
Why don't you just wait until another time then?  Is it really that appropriate if you're afraid of someone overhearing?
You're blocking people out.  Isolating yourselves.  Telling others, unwittingly or not, not to bother you.

There you have it.
Now tell me, what are your views on this matter?

In the shadow of the Greatest Shinobi

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Well well well...

I'm sure you've all been terribly worried I've been attacked and killed or somesuch, but I shall put those worries to rest.

I would like to say I have been busy and have had no time to write a post here, but, though I have been busy, I have not been so busy as to not post here.  So, I have no excuse for my neglect of updating my blog which is read by, quite possibly, no one.
At any rate, I have found the wonders of a membership to an exercising facility.  Strange how one is spurred on to work in new places.  I have exercising equipment here at home, of course, but there is something about going out to a place to exercise that is... helpful.  So I have been working out there quite often, but not all everyday.
No, I have also been reading quite a lot.  Randy Alcorn is a genius by way of writing murder mysteries.  I hear he writes other books, but thus far I have only read his murder mysteries.
Exercise, reading... Ah yes, musical instruments.  I believe everyone should play a musical instrument of some kind.  Not only are they a wonderful way of disciplining one's self into focusing and developing something, but they provide escape during trying times.  A sort of vent, as it were.  If I had my way, learning to play an instrument would be mandatory in schools.
But I don't, so it isn't, so not everyone does.
Aside from those things, and of course daily routines, I have been continuing my work in the Japanese language, which has been going well.

Well, there you have it.  An update at last, to put your worries to rest.  I shall attempt to get another up soon,  perhaps a rant on video and computer games...

In the shadow of the Greatest Shinobi